Five Lessons I Learned During the Weekend

1. If you catch a fish, but are afraid to grab it and remove the hook from its sad little bleeding lip, you should bang the fish (still attached to the fishing pole) against the side of the boat. If the fish hits the boat "just right", it removes itself from the hook, and no one gets messy or catches fish cooties.

2. Although chocolate waffles seem like a nice breakfast, they are actually quite bossy.

3. Washers is a game at which I don't completely suck. I will add it to my list: Badminton, Pillow Polo, Washers.

4. ATVs are somehow able to awaken muscles that have been stagnant since birth. My ass hurts in a place I cannot find, and I've been wiggling and rolling around for two days straight...

5. If you correctly spell the word "amphetamine", everyone in the room will think you are sexy.